Should I Prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse? Pascal interjects!

Dear Ms. Inquiry,


All of my friends are working on plans to fight off the zombie apocalypse, if it happens.  They're clocking mad hours working on these plans, and investing all manner of U.S. currency!  They say I am a grade-A fool for not having a plan of my own.  Is there matter to their claims?  


Requiring your boundless wisdoms,
Powerless Against Undead Legions


Dear PAUL,

Should you prepare for the coming zombie apocalypse?  Do you want to be among the unprepared, the unarmed, the undead?  Maybe!  For the answers you seek, I will consult the long-dead brains of Blaise Pascal.

BLAAAAAAIIIISE

Now, Blaise Pascal is famous for something called Pascal's Wager.  Pascal was arguing that believing in God is a good bet!  Read it for yourself!  For all y'all who prefer your philosophy broken down, I'm about to break it down:

• There either is a god, or there isn't.
• If you believe in God, the worst thing that could happen is that there's no God!  And the best thing that could happen is, heaven! So, in the immortal words of Journey, don't stop believin'!
• If you don't believe in God, the worst thing that could happen is INFINITE TORMENT IN HELL.  So you'd better believe, just in case.

Now, let's substitute "zombie apocalypse" for "God" and see what happens!

• There either will be a zombie apocalypse, or there won't.
• If you plan for the zombie apocalypse, the worst thing that could happen is that there's no zombies!  And the best thing that could happen is, ZOMBIE-SLAYING HEROISM! So, in the immortal words of Ben Folds, don't change your plans!
• If you don't plan for zombies, the worst thing that could happen is YOU JOIN THE LEGIONS OF THE UNDEAD.  So you'd better believe, just in case.

Now, PAUL, if you've been paying attention up to this point, you might notice that there's a little flaw in this logic!  Now I for one may be down with religion and preparing for the zombie apocalypse, but there are better justifications for either than Pascal's wager.  

Pascal says we only have two choices: believe in God, and go to heaven, or don't believe in God, and go to hell.  But there are more than two choices, aren't there?  What if there is a God, but God gets pissed that your belief in him/her is based solely on a pragmatic argument that claims believing in God is good for your own interests, and damns you to infinite torment anyway?  That seems like a third option, doesn't it?  The fallacy wherein you present only two choices, when there are many other choices available, is called "false dichotomy."  The more you know!

So let's return to the zombie apocalypse: should you be planning?  My thoughts are, all you have to lose is a little bit of time, and all you have to gain is much greater physical strength, cunning, and, perhaps, skill with melee weapons.  You don't want your friends to be able to outrun, out-think, and out-decapitate you, do you?  I should think not!

Hope that helps,

Yours In Inquiry