On the Catchiness of Catchy Tunes

Dear Ms. Inquiry,


What makes catchy-ass songs so catchy? Why does catchy-ness of song apparently have NOTHING to do with quality of song? Why am I always SO SICK of the catchy ass-song about two months before any of the DJs on commercial radio are? 

EXPLAIN POP MUSIC TO ME,
Guenevere


Dear Lady Guenevere,


I have made it my QUEST to seek the answers to THESE QUESTIONS THREE!  I journey forth into the MOUNTAINS OF MOTOWN, the DUNGEONS OF DIVAS, the ANNALS OF AUTOTUNE to uncover the Holy Grail of music answers: what gives pop its power?


You are keen to observe that catchiness does not necessarily correlate to quality.  For instance, catchy tunes can run the gamut from Mozart's Eine Kleine Nachtmusik (which I defy you not to get stuck in your head for the next five weeks)

to "Whip My Hair" by Willow Smith.

(I am so, so sorry.)

So what is catchiness?  I will define it as "the quality of a song to repeat in your head ad nauseum, until it is replaced either by a song of equal or greater catchiness or the blade of an ax."  But what makes the song get stuck in your head?  What's the difference between Kesha's "Tik Tok" and Milton Babbitt's... anything by Milton Babbitt?

If you have the kind of mind in which "Philomel" can get stuck, you're either a genius or an interdimensional sound alien.

For today's philosophical discussion, I will employ the strategy of Talking Out of My Ass.  It was invented by the Pre-Socratics, and can be seen in an Intro to Philosophy course near you-- in copious quantities-- by the stoner kid who sits in the back and raises his hand every five minutes to say something about The Matrix.  

My guess is that catchy music is catchy because it sounds the same as all other catchy music.  Stay with me now.  Tell me one difference between any Ke$ha song, and any other Ke$ha song, besides song title.  You can't find one, right?  Same beat, same subject matter, same weird sing-talking, same chord progression.  If you hear a catchy song, chances are, you can name five other catchy songs that sound just like it.  Do this, out loud, during long car rides.  Use the knowledge this blog gives you to make yourself sound like a self-important hipster!

Some of this is not on purpose.  There are only so many notes in the Western scales that American pop music uses-- you're going to run out eventually.  And most people have the same taste in note relationships.  But a lot of this stuff is intentional.  Check out this Quincy Jones quote I caught on NPR:

"In the thirties and forties, Basie was one of the biggest bands in America," Jones says. "And the bass drum was four to the floor — gong, gong, gong, gong — exactly the same as disco. Exactly."

What worked in the forties worked in the seventies works right now. Listen to Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream," as one of many examples. It's four to the floor! The hits may change, but the elements do not.

 "The elements do not."  So basically music is the same, cut and pasted, reworked stuff that it has always been.  
So that's what makes tunes catchy-- you've heard them all before.  And songwriters/ producers know this: they know what sold before, they take the extra profitable bits, and then they sew them together in a big, catchy blanket.  The kind of blanket that you can't get off of you.  A KILLER BLANKET DEVOURING YOUR SOUL.  How's that image?


That's probably also why you get sick of music way before deejays do.  Also because you're not paid to pretend you're not sick of it.


Hope that helps,
Yours In Inquiry